Putting Show before Tell

This week’s question comes from Gromito: “Can you share your thoughts describing the scene? My stories just have characters and talking but nothing on the *where*. Should I include pictures?”

It is true the easiest way to ‘solve’ the problem would be to include pictures. Which, unsurprisingly enough, is not always possible. I have yet to see an illustrated audio book, however I will applaud the first that makes it happen. That said including pictures isn’t an objectively bad idea if it fits your style, and the piece you’re going for. An example would be the illustrated anthology; I will get to working on one soon, it is the continuation from Chasing a Letter where Mallvilt, Fangstal, Flulsh, and a few new faces dive in to the Stugdulstulkli and see what they can find. Since the book would be presented as a dramatized version Mallvilt’s travel diary with his sketches. I would likely put one or two per story. Likely a ‘title page’ picture and one somewhere in the story. Exactly what will come in the story. Likely when there’s something meaningful to show off. That can be made to work within the anthology. This plan likely will not work with a traditionally minded novel. Likewise depending on the digital platform some pictures may not format.

Thus descriptions are inevitable.

As unhelpful as it may be, there is no really wrong way to describe a scene. Yet in my opinion there are three schools of thought when it comes to the type of descriptions. What the audience needs, what the character sees, and what is important. Each have their merits, and draw backs.

Starting with what the audience needs this is often the bear bones but still technically descriptive. As the audience doesn’t need to know everything, and word count is important; this has become the ‘modern’ way of doing things. Stylistically I don’t like this. It cuts some of the art from the artform. I also think it cuts a lot of context. For example if our dashing hero, whom will me Eric going forward, and his kid sister, Molly, are at a party it might be important to mention she’s in a long dress. Especially if later that skirt will be what turns the star of the college swim team into a helpless princess.

The second school is what the character sees. If a character sees it it gets described. To take that example when Molly emerges from the bathroom she would be described, with her outfit. How much that gets described will depend on style, how recently things were described, and so on. Yet if it gets seen it gets mentioned. This generally leads to lots of descriptions. Which may or may not get in the way of the story. I do enjoy reading stories from this school of description as it provides for a rather cinematic reading. Yet a word of caution, when done poorly this can lead to some pacing issues, watch out for those.

The last school, only describe what is important, is seems to be the ‘recommended’ way of doing things. Do we care about what a character looks like? Do we care what the room looks like? If we don’t than don’t waste time on it. Don’t waste time with it get to what’s important. Honestly I don’t like this school very much. Some of the books from this line of thinking are quite compelling. Others are very confused. If you are in the market for an all or nothing description style this is the school for you. Personally I have read more stories that have ended on the nothing side of the equation than the all side of the equation.

The other half of the description problem is when to describe things. Like how to do so there is no proper answer. Again there are a few different paths which can be summed up as: a start of the scene, when someone enters the scene or when something changes. Each of them have their up and down sides.

The most obvious one is at the start of a scene. Think of it as the ‘establishing shot’ of the page. With a description leading into everything else. This can also be seen as the get it out of the way option. Describe what is there and then move on to doing things. It is rather useful when something needs to be set up ‘visually’ before continuing. Yet much like the show us everything it can break story flow if mishandled. With the scene cuts hurting the pacing, and opening the door for strange tonal shifts.

Next it’s during the entry to the scene or when something changes. If someone comes in describe them, if something is now important, describe it. This has an interesting effect as it can weave descriptions of characters and places into the narrative proper. Yet again it could hurt the pace of the story as now those plot beats are weighted down. If doing this keep it light so things don't bog down too much.

When I write I tend to do a character description when a character first appears, the more detailed the more important the character. A minor character may get a few choice words, a new major may get a paragraph.

Yet I also spread out the description as characters interact. For example if a character is seated at the beginning of the scene, I may skip over height until later when they stand up and are revealed to be significantly larger or smaller than the conversation would have implied. I belive this adds weight to some scenes. If the princess has been proper, thus standoffish, yet is currently invading our hapless poper's personal space he may at this point realize she has green eyes; which highlights the physical closeness and possibly highlights an emotional one.

Another bonus of this is how the timing of the descriptions, and the words used, can highlight things bout the viewpoint. If it's first person use language the story teller would use, even if it isn't language you'd use. Likewise ordering the description in the order they would ‘see’ the described adds to it. I have a few story seeds where though the eyes if my hero I describe women in paragraphs and other men in sentences for this reason.

Lastly I find it easier to trim down or expand descriptios then it is to add description. If the description block, so to speak, is in the story adjustments to it are easier to fit the flow or feeling of the section. Rather than trying to retrofit the section with a description where there used to be none.

With that I will leave you until the next Mailbag Monday.