Mixing Signals

One of the most interesting thing is watching physically compatible species attempt to romance each other. Sometimes they even have the same rules, and expectations. When the couple doesn’t realize they realize that, fun abounds.

Continuing on from the first part, we are diving into the philosophical side of inter-species relationships. After getting the physical issues out of the way there’s the issues that come from different species thinking in different ways. Much like the physical side of the relationship the philosophical and social side of the relationship can be affected by the different species. Different pysicalties and biologies will lead to different ways of thinking and different perspectives on life. Thus this week we will step from the physical and biological and into the realm of culture and philosophy. I’m going to bundle it into three parts: Players, Goals, and Moderators. Each of these parts modifies the base romance in different directions, and will have different impacts on the stories that involve our inter-species couples.

Starting with the most obvious the players of our game. There are a lot of things to think about how our players will be different from each other, I’d bundle it into three categories: expectations, pacing, and context. Expectations is where one can have a lot of fun both in the worldbuilding and in the storytelling. On the worldbulidnig front the expectations one has for their romance is one of the things that can be the greatest view into the culture and one of the best ways to show off how different the two peoples are. What expectations one sets for a species can come from just about anywhere from the biological layer or the social layer. An example from biology: a species has four females per male odds are the females may have evolved to share; the social angle will be what those gender roles for said ratio would look like. Pacing is more straight forward, how fast or slow do the players expect the game to play out. This often stems from life expectancy, and the speed of life development. If a species goes though life, much slower due to their longer lifespans their romances may also be longer. Say a human courtship lasts six months, an elf’s lasts sixty. Depending on how it plays out either the human waits around or the elf has to skip though some steps, how does that affect either or both players? Is the elf rushed into making decisions, or does the human have to slow down to elf speed? Lastly there is the question of context. Generally this is a more social question than a species question yet the different species will have different contexts by default. Beyond offering chances for miscommunications it also will change how the players view and understand what is being asked of them or what the share goals mean.

In short being of different species will change how the players see each other and the game overall. The rules they will play by will be more different than if they were the same species. These differences will lead to different ways of understanding, and not just the game. While the exploration of what is normal in different cultures will be saved for later, don’t forget that different species think differently.

Goals may also change across species. The first thing to think about is why are the two species mingling. Start with the question about their children from the last time. If there are children on the table how do the cultures and species view the children? Are they hated, loved, or something else in the view of the species and their cultures. More interestingly if there are no children why is this happening. Is it purely political or is there something deeper? A romance based off of a pair of symbiotic species could be interesting; doubly so if they were socially symbiotic rather than biologically symbiotic. Likewise how would the two species define the goals of romance, we will be talking legacy on tomorrow, yet that legacy will be tied to the goals of romance. Thus how do they view it, and what does romance do in each of their societies, and how do those societies frame the biological stakes of romance. There’s also a chance that the goals will shift because of the realities of the interspecies relationship. Meaning one or both players now won’t know what it is they are playing for anymore, which can cause many a crisis.

Lastly and most interestingly we come to the moderators. As there are two species there are going to be two sets of rules, and two sets of rule keepers. Again the biological differences will influence how they work, but more importantly there is a question of how does the species keep order? If one species can do something the other can’t, flight is a good example, may in turn declare the entire thing impossible. As one member of this relationship cannot uphold a set of customs due to their physicality. Likewise the issues with physicality may extend beyond the reconcilable. While this may be true for any culture, there is often more barriers as again, romance ends with reproduction thus cultures may go even farther than what one would expect.

Yes this entire essay can be surmised as ‘different species have different cultures or different views on the shared culture’ and storytellers and worldbuilders need to account for that. Which is something a lot of people do well enough. The biggest issue is that they don’t loop back to the biology as pointed to last week. Meaning one needs to figure out what is going to be different and how different they are going to be from the biological angle and then go from there developing the social angle.

With the levers sketched out engaging with them comes from a few core questions:

• Does the biology imply a different way of thinking?
• Does the biology change the risks and rewards of romance?
• How does the biology change the way rules are kept?
• Are there specific romantic rituals tied to the biological layer?

As always tailor these questions to the species involved in your romances, as one size fits most is a good starting point. When it comes to using these levers focus on the things that will make the species feel different, and making the member of that species feel like a member and not a token. This is where the building yields to storytelling. Take these things that are the philosophical and social views from the species and have the individual think about them and interact with them. Maybe the elf woman knows she’s ‘too young for a relationship’ at 105 years old, yet understands and agrees with the fact humans want to make the most of the time they have and thus is founding a family with a human man. I can see a rant where she pushes back against her parents,

“I know humans are emotional, short lived, rude and very unrefined. I know I’ll out live my great grandchildren.
I accept it.
Unlike us humans refuse to accept a static life, in that sense they have learned a lesson we have forgotten. Simply look at our great forest. Life is change, life is motion, life is short: often both beautiful and violent in equal measures. Henry has taught me what the Elders have chosen to forget: to embrace nature is to embrace the chaos of life. While I may not know what I will do once he passes on in the cycle; I will do my best to honor the teachings we should be embracing from the grove outside our walls.”

While only part of their story, it highlights a lot of what should be when dealing with the philosophies across species. The elves are static, as elves tend to be, our elf thinks there’s a better way and is going to attempt to prove herself or the norm right one way or another. Her community is functionally saying, you’re physically developed but your mind isn’t finished developing if you do this you will regret it for centuries. Add in a historical artifact of it going very, very, wrong a thousand or two years ago, some rituals that may take a human lifetime to complete in elf society, and one has the root of a romance novel, or series of books following our elf matriarch and her family.

That said it shouldn’t be all passion and defiance against the sticks in the mud. Our elf will likely find issue with how shortsighted humans are, as why only think five or ten years into the future? Yes in human scale that is a long time, yet almost nothing for her. Meaning she will cause friction with the humans for being slow, bit of a kill joy and getting lost in thought for too long. How she and Henry overcome both sides of the equation, and grow together will be the core of the romance.

To conclude focus on how the different species would build their cultures. Then build up characters within those cultures and their view on not only their own culture, but the species and culture of their partner. Figure out how the romance changes with the two sets of moderators and expectations. Take time to decide about what rituals have to be honored, what rituals are impossible, and what rituals get blended together. From there one can add the depth to the intersperses relationships that is often overlooked, and make it feel more real and more impactful to the story.